is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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