member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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