Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
