Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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