Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
