Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
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