Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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