# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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