Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
