I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
