well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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