I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
