Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
