C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
its not stalking. its research.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
