i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize