So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
