nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
