i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize