no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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