i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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