I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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