I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
