We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
