hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
