Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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