now i know why i became what i already was.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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