Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
