so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just want nice things and good sex
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
