as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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