but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
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Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
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Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml