He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.