Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
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I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.