im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
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I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The power of my boobs compel you