I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now