i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night