Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
