Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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