Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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