i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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