first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
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i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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