Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This house was built for laser tag.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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