ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
