felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Im part way to drunk.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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