I want to make a zoo with you.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
