she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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