Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Randomize
