I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize