you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
