Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He shit in the fireplace
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