cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
