He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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