dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
