Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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