SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
