I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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