Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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