Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
