I love black thongs
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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