dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he was CRYING into my vagina
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
