my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
