Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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