you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize