my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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