talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
