It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
