Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
