When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
