Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize