butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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