Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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